It's Okay to Not be Okay

Hello all, 

Lately God has been convicting me on so much and it's been awesome. Most importantly, He's been teaching me its OKAY to be sad. It's OKAY to be anxious. It's okay to be ANGRY. What matters is how we deal with it. 

I've always been a person who feels like a complete and total burden opening up to others. When I was struggling with my anxiety and depression I didn't open up for years. I hid it all inside. That was such a mistake though, I fell apart. I didn't know how to handle anything I was going through. So here's what I believe God and the Bible has to say to Christians about struggles: 

1. There is a difference between happiness and joy.

If you're not a Christian, this may not make sense so I'm going to try to explain this to you. Happiness is based on feelings, joy is based on circumstances. I am JOYFUL when I'm sick, when I'm anxious, when I didn't get enough sleep and I didn't get to stop doing Homewrk and working until 2 am in the morning. We have joy because we have a God who loves us and is there for us. I have joy because no matter what God is good. When this world isn't good to me and I'm not good to myself He is still SO GOOD to me. 

2. There is strength in weakness. 

2 Corinthians 2:9 says, "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." When I am weak Christ is strong for me. He provides. He holds me in His arms when I cry. When I'm too weak to walk on my own He carries me in His arms. I'm an emotionally vulnerable person to the core. I wear my heart on my sleeve. It sometimes isn't good, but JESUS still loves me and holds me in His arms when others words or my own thoughts stab my heart. 

3. We aren't meant to do life on our own. 

To Write Love on Her Arms is one of my favorite originizations and one of my favorite quotes by them is "you'll need coffee shops, and sunsets, and road trips. Airplanes and passports. And new songs and old songs. But people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living, breathing, screaming invitation to believe better things." 

God made us to need other people because we can't do life on our own. So it's okay to tell others you're not okay. It's okay to ask others to pray for you. It's okay to open up about your problems. 

This is something that's been on my heart and I am working really hard to be able to believe this and act on it. This year along with self-love, I am focusing on being vulnerable because when you're struggle and open up, you have the ability to help others / let them know they're not alone. 

God bless, 

Anna Nokes 

Singleness: A Call to Waiting

Hello all,

Something I have been struggling with lately (that I honestly hate to admit), is being single. Singleness is not a bad thing at all means, but going to a Christian college where getting your "ring before spring" is preached a lot, you can start to feel lonely and wonder why God is making you wait. Especially, when you're like me and never actually had a serious boyfriend. However, I feel God calling me to a time of singleness. Although, I am not a patient person and do not like waiting, I know God has called me to this time of singleness and I am learning to be content in it. 


Here are the reasons I am taking the call to singleness:

1.  You have to be fully content in one area of your life before God moves you to another.

One of the girls in my prayer group mentioned this last semester and it has really stuck with me since. I want to be able to be content with myself before I become content with being with another person. "Why?", you may ask. Well, I feel that if I cannot fully be content and love myself then I am bound to put all of my happiness into one person. That is not realistic and not healthy. I fully believe relationships become codependent when you are not content with yourself and relying on God for your self-worth.

2. College is a time to explore the opportunities around you and yourself.

I've made a commitment to not dating my freshmen year, which I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs, and I fully intend to sticking to that. I fully believe freshmen year should be about learning about who YOU are and what your passions and interests are. I wholeheartedly believe that college is about exploring yourself and honestly, since I don't know myself that well yet, I don't want to date someone who could potentially take away from me having these opportunities and time to explore. I want to be able to take the time to get to know myself and get involved before I choose to be with someone. 

3. You need to take care of your own needs first.

College is a time where a lot is going on, college is where many start to have mental illnesses and stress is taking a toll on everyone no matter how much you don't procrastinate or how organized you are. I am a full believer that two people in a relationship should be healthy and able to take care of their own problems. I'm not saying you can't rely on each other for support, but you need to be able to be strong and take care of yourself. When two people start dating and rely on each other for support you can either damage each others accomplishments because it's hard seeing your boyfriend or girlfriend sad, or there becomes so much negativity in the relationship that you two may break up. You need to be able to take care of yourself and have people around you who support you, and most importantly lean on the Lord in all of your struggles.

4. There is a time for everything. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." Right now, God is calling me to a time of singleness for all of these reasons above and more. Right now I am nowhere near emotionally or spiritually mature to be in a relationship and I am completely okay with that. I want to focus on falling more and more in love with the Lord through my daily Bible reading and worship before I commit to someone else. It honestly is hard sometimes to see so many of my friends getting into relationships, but then I remember that God has a plan for everything. One day I am going to be able to look back on all of my regrets, mistakes, sacredness, etc. and say that it's all worth it when I'm looking into the eyes of the one that is my boyfriend and I intend to marry. Until then, singleness it is. 

Love always, 

Anna Nokes

Why Wait to Have Sex?

Hello everyone, 

This topic is a little more controversial than most I post, but this has been on my heart for a couple days now. 

Here's a question I get asked often: Why wait to have sex until marriage? When people see my purity ring and find out what it is, there's a few reactions that almost always happen. "I can't believe you're waiting, what's the fun in that?" or "That's really respectful, but I could never do that myself." 

There are many reasons I'm waiting until marriage, but here are the main ones. 

1. The Bible tells us that we are to wait until marriage to have sex. 

Now this may not be a good enough reason for many people, but I believe the Bible to be true and for it to guide everything we do and say. 1 Corinthians 6:19 says, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own." This shows that we don't have the right to do with our body what we want because we belong to God and we should desire to be obedient to Him in A L L we do. 

2. Our purity is like a bouquet of flowers. 

Once a friend told me that our purity is like a boquet of flowers, each time we give a part of ourselves to someone, we have less flowers to have to give to our future wife or husband. It's not only how much you give away of yourself, but how many people you give parts of yourself away to. The goal is to have as many flowers as possible to give to your future spouse. Would you want to give them a picked over, wilted boquet of flowers or a fully bloomed, large boquet of flowers? I would choose the latter. 

3. A lot of us have double standards for our future spouses and that's wrong. 

I have heard many people say that it's okay if they give themselves away before marriage and that they will just marry someone who can give them everything they kept sacred. Don't get me wrong, I know many people who had sex before marriage when they weren't a believer and now they're waiting, this doesn't mean they can't marry someone who's still a virgin. What I am saying is that you can't except whoever you are going to marry to give you their best, when you're not giving them your best. Your goal should be to have the same standards for yourself that you have for your future spouse. 

4. It's not as special when you don't wait. 

I know so many people that didn't wait to have sex until marriage and they actually feel guilt and shame every time they have sex with their spouse. God told us to wait not because He didn't want us to have fun or enjoy sex, but because he created sex to be more pleasure filled when you do it with the person you marry. God creates commandments and rules because He wants to help you, not harm you or take away your fun. 

5. You create a connection that can't be taken away if you don't wait. 

This is especially important for women, oxytocin is released when you have sex which makes it hard to let go of the intimate connection you have with someone who you used to have sex with. This happens every time you have sex with someone and that means that you are intimately connected to more people than just your spouse, and if you're like me than you only want that intimate connection with the one person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. 

Thanks for reading and I hope you learned something new! 

Blessings, 

Anna

Bold

Hello everyone, 

So as the new year has arrived I have been praying to God to give me a word to live by this year. As I was driving home today and worshipping and praying, God laid on my heart the word bold. B o l d. 

As I've grown more in my faith in the past year, the Lord's really shown me how necessary it is for me to share my faith with others. I'm starting to really understand how we may be the only Bible people read and/or see.

As I've gone back to work in a secular environment, my faith has really been tested. I'm starting to realize that I need to stop being so scared of sharing my faith. People are not always going to like me and that's okay. It's time to be b o l d in standing up for what I believe is right and not back down. God's already shown me so many ways to being bold, not compromising my purity, not swearing, and not engaging in activities that I shouldn't be apart of. God's already given me opportunities to be bold this year and that's wonderful. 

I want to be b o l d in my studies, b o l d in my purity, b o l d in my weight loss, and b o l d in sharing my faith. 

Here's to a year full of growing closer to the Lord and being b o l d. 

Joshua 1:9, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." 

Blessings, 

Anna 

Here's To a New Year

Hello everyone,

Today is January 1st and I wanted to share with you my New Year's Commitments. 

1. I am going to read the Bible cover to cover. 
I committed my life to Christ when I was 12 years old and I have never honestly read the whole Bible. After many years of thinking about reading through my Bible daily, I am going to do it. Here is what I am using to read through the Bible in one year: http://www.oneyearbibleonline.com/january.asp?version=51&startmmdd=0101. :) I have done devotionals for my daily time with the Lord when I have kept up with Bible reading, but I've really been realizing how important it is to be able to form our own opinions about the Bible and not be swayed by others opinions. This year I want to be able to fully take my faith, form my own beliefs, and know more about the Bible than I have ever known.

2. I am going to start practicing self-love and becoming healthy.
Song of Solomon 4:7 says, "You are altogether beautiful my love; there is no flaw in you." This Bible verse is on a canvas on my dorm room wall and I love it. When I first heard it, it just painted this picture of Jesus looking at me and not seeing my acne, my stretch marks, my frizzy hair and all the other flaws I pick out about myself. This year I'm focusing on loving myself, flaws included. I've struggled with disordered eating habits since 7th grade and I want to finally be in control. I have a certain amount of weight I want to lose, however; that is not the end goal. It's not ending there, I want to start eating healthier and exercising more. I know that eating healthier and exercising more will lead to the weight loss, but it will also lead me to feeling healthier and not be so tired all the time. I am learning to be comfortable in my skin because I am not by any means perfect, but God created me in His image and because of that there is nothing I need to change about the way I look. I'm going to start putting up more Bible verses in my dorm room on my mirror and other places, as well as my work desk. It's going to be a long process to overcome the self-esteem issues I've had that have honestly been going on since 1st grade or so. It's time to l o v e myself, not just t o l e r a t e myself. 

3. I am going to live my faith out.
I've always struggled being open about my faith because I've never wanted to offend people and I want to get along with everyone. However, I'm starting to realize that people will be offended no matter what and that not everyone can get along. I want to be open about what the Lord is doing in my life and truly live out my faith. Honestly, it's hard being home with the majority of my friends being non-Christians and wanting to be able to feel accepted, but still share my faith. It's time for me to put my faith into action through loving others, less complaining, and more of a life of servitude. 


Here's to 2015, 2014 was one of the best years of my life. I got accepted to my top college, finished my 1st semester at Liberty University, decided I want to become a mental health social worker, and made some of the best friends ever. I have grown SO much in my faith and the Lord has just taken me from the girl in 2012 who had no hope for a future, with a future full of opportunities awaiting. God is so good to me, and I'm glad to say my depression no longer controls me and is barely prevalent. I still struggle with anxiety and panic attacks often, but the Lord has been so faithful to me and has been there for me when they occur. I can't wait to see what 2015 holds. Honestly, as long as I grow closer to the Lord, that's all that matters.

God Bless and Happy New Year,

Anna