It's been awhile since I've blogged because school has been getting crazy busy. But in the midst of the chaos, God's been growing and teaching me SO much. I'm about to be really transparent.
I've always been a people pleaser. I've lived to make others happy and often been the doormat. I've defined myself by how many friends I had and how many people liked me. I've always been wanting a boyfriend and continually putting myself out there and occasionally getting my heart broken along the way. God's really been convicting me of this lately. He's been so faithful to me. I told y'all how God's called me to a season of singleness, what I haven't told you is how hard it is, but how God's shown me so much through it.
1. God takes away things not because He wants to punish us, but He wants to grow us.
I've struggled with my weight, my looks, and my self-worth since I was 6. Honestly I used to hate myself. I thought I was worthless. God's shown me lately how He makes everything beautiful in its time. (Ecclesiastes 3:11) He has also shown me how I am beautiful with no outside beauty flaws. (Song of Solomon 4:7) I told myself I wouldn't date first semester and after I made my commitment to make this a year of self-love, I told myself I wouldn't date this semester. I fully believe that you can still grow in your self-worth when you're in a relationship, but for me that would not be possible. I would be placing my self-worth in the guy I'm dating. For me, I am slowly but surely learning how NO ONE should ever come before God and this can only be done through fully relying on God.
2. If a relationship is the determining factor in whether you are happy or not, you need to do some soul searching.
I believe that our happiness should come from Christ alone. I know that relationships make you happier, but if being in a relationship is all that brings you happiness, you need to focus on God first. Nothing should make you happier than God's love and grace that pours out of Him endlessly and daily. You should be so founded in God that whether you are in a relationship or not, you are still content. Truthfully we should all be happy even if we spend the rest of our lives single. This is hard and I'm working on it, but ultimately we should just be happy where God has called us.
3. You need to pour into yourself before you can commit to pouring into someone else daily.
Pouring into someone else, but not pouring into yourself drains you immensely. One needs to be emotionally stable and secure in their emotional state before they can healthily pour into others. I'm not saying by any means that you have to be perfect, because that's impossible. But I'm saying that your emotional state affects your significant other and it should affect your significant other in a positive way.
God has a plan for all of us that will bless us and not harm us. (Jeremiah 29:11) God has also called us to different places based on our stages in life. We are to be faithful to Him in the midst of everything. Even though going to a Christian university where everyone seems to be jumping into relationships, I'm okay with where I am. I will wait upon the Lord because He knows the plans for my life way better than I do. I can't wait to keep growing in Him.
Blessings,
Anna Nokes
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