As I write this, I sit on my couch at home after a day at work. I've been home for almost 2 weeks now.
God's been teaching me so much lately and I want to share it with y'all. Being at college has been amazing for the past 3 and a half months. It's been so different being at a Christian college surrounded by other Christians daily compared to a secular workplace and public school all of my life.
Being home has been a test to my faith in so many ways. My support system at home is made up of mostly non-Christians or Christians who don't really practice their faith through their actions. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my friends and they're some of the sweetest and most supportive people I know, but it's different than my Christian friends. I've gotten used to not hearing swearing, people talking about partying, and about just things you don't hear about Christian college. Don't get me wrong, these things happen, but it's not the norm at all.
I've been questioning God at times in just the environment I'm apart of at home; why don't I have more Christian friends at home? Why do I feel such a tie to going back to my own ways? Why is it so hard trainsitioning back to the way of life at home?
Through this, God has been so faithful and revealing so much to me. He's shown me that I am here, at home, at work, in my friend group, for such a time as this.
This reminds me of a message we heard this summer on our mission trip which went along with the Bible verses Esther 4:12-14;
"When Hathach told Mordecai what Esther had said, Mordecai sent her this message: “Don’t think that just because you live in the king’s house you’re the one Jew who will get out of this alive. If you persist in staying silent at a time like this, help and deliverance will arrive for the Jews from someplace else; but you and your family will be wiped out. Who knows? Maybe you were made queen for just such a time as this.” (The Message)
God is reminding me time after time, that my faith is not just something I practice when it's easy and when I'm surrounded by other Christians; it's something I practice even when it's hard. I kept praying to Him to show me how to be a light when being home and I've found it: I'm here, at home, to be a light and practice what I preach even when it's hard.
I've always been a Christian who didn't want to "shove" my faith on others, but God's been teaching me that that was me being scared to share my faith. I didn't want to be left out or not fit in. But we are called as Christians to be the light and sometimes that means not fitting in. He's shown me that me choosing a life of not drinking, not smoking, not swearing and waiting till marriage to have Alex will be challenged. Others will find it weird, but it leads to great conversations about my faith.
I'm finally realizing what it means to be a Christian, it's not easy and that's okay. I'm home and it's hard, but I'm no longer backing down to the challenge of being a Christian in all seasons. I'm not saying I'm perfect at all. No no no. I'm still struggling at times, but I'm getting there. Step by step.
"For just a time as this I have made you", the Lord says to me.
Thankful for a God who helps me grow daily. So thankful.
Love,
Anna
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